Stigma is one of the reasons that some people end up having quite negative feelings about themselves and about having HIV.

In society, a lot of negative and inaccurate ideas are spread about HIV. It can be difficult for anybody, including people with HIV, to ignore all these ideas and not be influenced by them.

Before you found out that you have HIV, perhaps you looked upon people with HIV in a rather negative way yourself. Or perhaps HIV wasn’t a topic that you had thought too much about. But without realising it, you may have taken on board some of those inaccurate ideas.

“I used to think that people with HIV were dirty and deserved what they’d got. I was devastated when I found out that I had HIV. I became one of those people.”

“Sometimes I just want to be myself without HIV. Before I was open but nowadays I’m closed; I’m closing my doors and windows.”

When you find out that you have HIV, it can be difficult to shake these ideas off. For example, some people with HIV believe that they deserved to get it, that they are not worth looking after, or that having HIV is a death sentence.

If you feel this way, it’s important to question and challenge these thoughts and feelings. HIV support organisations can help you do this.

If you think carefully about all the things you’ve ever heard about HIV and then compare that with what you know about your own life, you may find that a lot of what you’ve heard was just plain wrong.

“My main feeling when I first found out that I had HIV was ‘Why me?’. I blamed myself for getting it, for not being careful, but eventually I realised it wasn’t my fault.”

Some people find it useful to meet other people with HIV and to hear their experiences. This may give you a better idea of how people live with HIV and what it means to them. There are some ideas about how you can do this in the next section.