The thought of facing HIV alone is daunting. People often look first to their partner, family members or friends for support.

In a 2010 survey, over two-thirds of people in the UK said that if a family member said that they were HIV-positive, it wouldn’t damage their relationship with them.

And a great many people with HIV have found that those who were closest to them before they got HIV have continued to provide loving support. The knowledge that people you are close to are still supportive can provide the confidence and strength to overcome any prejudice or discrimination you face in wider society.

“I told my brother that I had TB and HIV. He put his arm around me and told me how much he loved me and that he’d always be there for me.”

“Disclosing does empower you - you feel like you’re in control. Nobody’s going to gossip about you. You can show them that you have HIV but still you’re okay.”

Even if somebody close to you reacts badly when they first find out that you have HIV, it could be that their attitude will change over time. It may just be that they are shocked, upset, or worried about your health. They may be worried about their own health.

“First of all my mother cried and cried and said she couldn’t believe what I was saying. But it’s clear that she loves me as much as she ever did and now understands about HIV. She even tells me about HIV treatment breakthroughs reported on the news.”

But sometimes relationships do get worse, either for a short period or for a longer period.

If you don’t feel that you can trust or rely on family or friends for support - or if someone reacts badly when you tell them you have HIV - remember that there are specialist HIV organisations that can help. Even if you feel that you’re alone, you don’t have to be.

HIV support organisations can help with practical problems you might be facing, such as housing or financial problems.  Talking with people from these organisations can also help you identify who might be the best people in your life that you can rely on to be supportive.

You can find contact details for HIV support organisations in the section Getting support and championing your rights and in our online e-atlas.

The decision to tell (or not to tell) a sexual partner can be particularly complex. There can be several reasons for this. There may be strong feelings and emotions between you, while at the same time there may be concerns about the risks of HIV being passed on. Many people with HIV have faced rejection from sexual partners, so don’t find disclosing their status easy.

There is no legal obligation to tell your sexual partners that you have HIV. But it's important to know that there can be legal implications to not telling, if the sex you have puts the other person at risk of HIV infection.

In England, Wales and Northern Ireland, a person can be sent to prison if they do not tell a partner that they are HIV-positive before having sex without a condom - and the sex results in HIV transmission.

In Scotland, the law is different. A person with HIV may be sent to prison if they do not tell a sexual partner that they are HIV-positive before having sex without a condom. They may be convicted even if there is no HIV transmission.

In order to get more detailed information about the law or to talk through the issue of telling a sexual partner, it may be helpful to contact a confidential telephone helpline such as THT Direct (0808 802 1221). You can also get information on these topics in the NAM booklet HIV & sex or in the Terrence Higgins Trust booklet Your decision. Talking to other people with HIV about how they deal with these things might also be helpful.

Giving a child information about HIV is usually an ongoing process. You may need to tell the child about their own health, or about that of a family member. What you say at any one time will depend on the child’s age, their level of understanding, and their readiness to know. For more on this, see NAM’s booklet HIV & children.