You don’t need to deal with problems on your own. Talking to someone close to you about how you feel about HIV and its effect on your life can really help. But if you don’t feel able or ready to tell friends, family or loved ones that you have HIV or about your feelings, there is support available from organisations which can help.

Some good places to start are THT Direct (0808 802 1221) or I Do It Right (0800 0967 500), where there are trained staff who you can talk to in confidence about your feelings and concerns.

These helplines can also give you details of other organisations that can help. Staff at your HIV clinic will also know about local support organisations.

Even if your family and friends are supportive, you may find it helpful to meet other people who are living with HIV. It may be good to talk to someone who’s going through similar things to you or has been through them before.

Many HIV organisations host groups for people with HIV to meet, talk, and provide mutual support. Some people find it helpful to dip into a group when they’re feeling under pressure or dealing with a particular problem.  Others use them as a source of long-term support and feel they are part of a positive community. Some groups are open to all people with HIV, while others are only open to people from certain communities.

Some organisations also offer courses for people who have recently found out they have HIV or for people who want to learn more about living well with HIV. These are also good opportunities to meet other people with HIV.

“When you are being told of your status, you go through those stages of feeling anger, you blame yourself, you feel ashamed. But as you go along to these meetings, meeting people with the same condition, you build up your confidence.”

Not everybody finds these courses and groups useful, so don’t think that there’s something wrong with you if you try one and it doesn’t suit you. There is nothing to stop you trying another one, or coming back at some stage in the future.

Support groups have strict rules about confidentiality, so you shouldn’t have to worry about people finding out that you’re going to one.

On the internet, you can also get support and information from other HIV-positive people. There are some specialist websites which have discussion forums and which aim to create an online community. There are other websites which will put you in touch with other people with HIV, either for dating or for friendship.

While most of the people you contact through these websites will be genuine, it’s advisable to take care when exchanging personal information or arranging to meet in person.

“Everybody just keeps telling me to ‘think positive.’ Being HIV-positive isn’t something to be positive about and I should be allowed to say that - it’s what I feel. I’ve managed to live a full life with HIV, but to do this it was important to acknowledge what having HIV meant to me.”