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It's the bigots I feel sorry for
I was infected by HIV in 1984 but diagnosed in 1985 while at home in Scotland for the summer holidays. It was a nightmare. I went back to New York and it took me a year to come to terms with it.
In August 1995 I became very ill and within a week I was back in the UK and admitted to the Chelsea and Westminster Hospital in London. I was only there for one night and my mother was there with me. The next day I was discharged and we went to my aunt and uncle’s house in Surrey. They asked us to leave next day. My fever was 105 and I was so frail I had to be helped onto the train back to Scotland by the guard.
1996 was my worst year and my health was never better than “so so.” In September, after a stay in a hospice, I was popping 50 pills a day. My left eye was damaged by CMV, but thankfully I could still see.
In late 1998 I started to become unwell again and by March 1999 I was admitted to the Western General Hospital in Edinburgh where I received excellent care and support.
But the side-effects of the 50 or so pills a day I was taking were so bad I had to stop taking them.
My treatment changed and I was now taking a total of six pills in equal doses in the morning and at night.
My weight increased from only nine stone when I was admitted to hospital in the Spring of 1999 to 13 stone by the end of 1999. I began swimming, playing tennis, dancing going out and enjoying life.
Then everything changed. I started getting abusive phone calls, was called a poof on the High Street, but by far the worst thing happened in December 2000. My Mum was recovering from a stroke at the time, it was Christams week. There was a knock at the door. Nobody was there, but somebody had scratched “AIDS” on the bonnet of the car.
I was since diagnosed with cancer – thankfully I recovered – and am my Mum’s full-time carer.
But I’m still targeted by small-minded bigots. I was recently sent a very nasty letter saying I was a “scum bag” who bled the system and should either leave town or just lay down and die. The police are investigating it, but I doubt anything will come of it.
I get on with my life, making the most of the health that I have. I travel and recently took my Mum to Italy for her 80th birthday. I’m neither rich nor poor, and don’t drink or smoke.
My Mum is very supportive, and most of the 3,000 people who live in my town are fine. It’s just those few small-minded bigots. You have to ask yourself what have they got in their life? I feel sorry for them, I really do.