YOU ARE HERE:
Hard times, by Ben
   Last updated: 10.11.04
 
For years I’ve been unable to get an erection.

I should be able to at my age, I’m only 34. But I just can’t. When I’m having sex it just gets a bit harder – well, for a short time at least – before shrivelling back to normal size.

I used to think that the cause was all in my mind, but was forced to dismiss this when it became clear that I couldn’t even get hard enough to masturbate.

Nor is illness the cause. To be honest, I’ve hardly had a day of illness since I was diagnosed with HIV six years ago.

It seems that it’s a side-effect of the anti-HIV treatment I’ve been taking for about five years.

Okay, it’s not the worst side-effect in the world, but it really has made me feel down. My self-confidence has really suffered.

It took a lot of courage to tell my doctor that I couldn’t get an erection. To be honest, I felt a bit ashamed. I also thought that as HIV is sexually transmitted, my inability to get an erection was not something that would greatly concern the staff at my HIV clinic.

But it was taken seriously. My doctor didn’t bat an eyelid and appeared to be concerned for me, particularly when I told him I’d been having problems for years, and referred me to one of his colleagues. I was prescribed Viagra. Although I’d heard it was a wonder drug, I had no great expectations, and was surprised and pleased in equal measure when I found that it worked.

Not only does it mean that I can get an erection again for the first time in years, but my self-confidence has returned and my general mental health improved.

Because I can be sure of getting, and staying, hard, I’m really confident using condoms.

I’m glad that I admitted to myself that I had a problem. There was an easy solution which has really improved the quality of my life.