Your relationship is more than a label

There are quite a few jargony terms used to describe a relationship where one partner is HIV-positive and the other HIV-negative. Some of the more common ones are “sero-discordant”, “sero-divergent”, or “mixed”.

Although it can be convenient to have a short-hand way of describing such relationships, it’s not always helpful. It can imply that a relationship is simply defined by the presence of HIV within it – and that all that matters is avoiding the transmission of HIV to the HIV-negative partner.

Regardless of our HIV status, we all have emotional needs, desires, hopes and fears. Many of the issues that arise in relationships where one partner has HIV and the other doesn’t also occur in relationships where HIV is not present. Some issues may also occur frequently in other relationships that are affected by someone’s health – perhaps another long-term illness or disability, and these situations don’t have special names to describe them.

That’s not to deny that HIV can make these issues more complicated and harder to work through – and if your relationship is sexual, you’ll probably have concerns about the possibility of HIV transmission.

Even though HIV is likely to be an important issue in your relationship, it’s a reasonable bet that you won’t have a jargon term to describe it. So we’re not going to use, medical, jargony terms to describe relationships where one of you has HIV and the other doesn’t – sorry if it makes some sentences in this section a little long-winded.