Why it can be good (and sometimes not so good) to tell people you have HIV

There are lots of reasons why you might want to tell people that you have HIV, not least the valuable support which your partner (if you have one), family and friends might be able to provide not just at the time of your diagnosis but throughout your life with HIV.

It's important that the doctors, nurses and other healthcare professionals who look after you know that you have HIV. This will mean that you can get the right treatment and care.

Being open about having HIV can also mean that you don't have to live with the stress of keeping a secret.

One piece of research found that people who were open about having HIV had a stronger immune system than those who didn't and less illness as well, and it's possible that the factors outlined above had a role in this.

However, telling other people that you have HIV can also have downsides. So try not to rush into telling people. Remember, although you can tell people you have HIV later, you cannot un-tell somebody.

Telling people that you have HIV can seem like a daunting or even frightening task. It’s important to think about who you are going to tell, and your reasons for telling them. On first learning that you have HIV, or later, you may feel a desire to unburden yourself and tell somebody. However, you may regret this later. Although you might want people to know what you are going through at times like this so you can receive their support, you might get a bad reaction which makes the situation seem worse. Or there may be times when you might find someone's attempts to be supportive intrusive – you may not want to be asked constant questions about your health, how you are feeling or how you are coping. Or you might even feel that you are finding yourself supporting and reassuring the people who you told about your HIV.

And it's unfortunately the case that some people have been discriminated against or rejected when they've told others that they have HIV.

We all react to difficult and stressful situations in different ways. Similarly, there’s no rule of thumb about what sort of support you should ask for from those close to you. Think about what’s best for you. The most important thing is that you feel you have control over who you tell about your HIV.