Paying attention to sexual health when you have HIV doesn’t just mean taking steps to prevent passing on the virus to someone else. It doesn’t only mean avoiding any new sexually transmitted infections, either. Good sexual health is about more than just your physical health.

People with HIV want the same things as any other person – love, affection and the pleasure and satisfaction you can get (and give) by having sex.

Your sexuality is part of you; part of what makes you human. Having sex and relationships in your life is likely to be as important for you as it ever was. Living well and staying healthy with HIV means looking after yourself – and that means your emotional self, too. Cutting yourself off from giving and receiving pleasure or from human contact and interaction isn’t good for you. You may become isolated or depressed, and that could affect your health in a negative way.

It’s fine to choose to be single or celibate – but it should be a choice you’ve made for positive reasons. And it doesn’t need to be a permanent choice – you might decide not to have sex for a period while you come to terms with your HIV diagnosis, for example.

Some people feel they shouldn’t have sex because they’re anxious about passing on HIV, or because they think they’re no longer desirable. But you don’t have to stop having sex just because you have HIV.

It is important to remember that HIV is only an infection – a virus, like the common cold, or flu. It is not a moral judgement, nor should it be seen as a punishment.

Sex can feel good, bring you closer to other people and satisfy a powerful desire. That is reason enough to continue to enjoy it as often as you wish. But there are other, well-documented health benefits too: sex helps you to relax and to sleep better; sex can be very good exercise; and sex can relieve pain, improve circulation and lower cholesterol levels.

For all of the above reasons, it’s important to ask any questions or raise any anxieties that you may have as soon as you can. You can raise sexual matters with your HIV doctor or the team at your treatment centre. You might worry that they will be shocked, or disappointed if you have had unprotected sex, for example. But they are there to help with these questions, provide information and, if they don’t have the expertise to help, refer you to someone who does. You can also seek advice and help from care and support agencies about sexual matters, and you may find it helpful to talk to partners, friends and other people who have experienced the same issues.